{"id":267928,"date":"2019-02-21T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-02-21T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/b1016720"},"modified":"2019-02-21T04:00:00","modified_gmt":"2019-02-21T11:00:00","slug":"how-mandy-moore-rebounded-in-life-and-love-from-a-marriage-that-could-have-crushed-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/music-news\/how-mandy-moore-rebounded-in-life-and-love-from-a-marriage-that-could-have-crushed-her\/","title":{"rendered":"How Mandy Moore Rebounded in Life and Love From a Marriage That Could Have Crushed Her"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

When Mandy Moore<\/a><\/strong> summited Mount\u00a0Kilimanjaro<\/a> last year, with then-fianc\u00e9 Taylor Goldsmith<\/strong> by her side, it was more than a feat of physical endurance.<\/p>\n

The singer and\u00a0actress had also proverbially\u00a0reached the\u00a0mountaintop after\u00a0quite the uphill climb, with no\u00a0guarantee that happiness would be waiting for her at the end.<\/p>\n

But though the journey\u00a0ultimately proved worth it, whatever was waiting for her was going to be better than what she was\u00a0putting behind her.<\/p>\n

“It’s no coincidence to me that once I did that hard work, life opened up in a way that I never could have expected,” Moore told Bustle<\/a> in November. “Once I did that, it was like, the sun came back out again. In every respect I felt like, ‘Oh, now I’m living the life that I’m supposed to be living.”<\/p>\n

Over the past few months, Moore has been opening up about what sort of\u00a0relationship she had\u00a0with\u00a0Ryan Adams<\/a><\/strong>, whom she married in\u00a02009 and separated from in 2015. And though\u00a0she made it fairly clear after they split up that she was glad to have turned the page on that chapter of her life, no one knew the extent of how unhappy the story was.<\/p>\n

Even she was unaware of it at times.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

In an interview on Marc Maron<\/strong>‘s\u00a0WTF\u00a0<\/em>podcast<\/a>, conducted a few weeks ago and released Monday, Maron jokingly referred to her being married now to a “second rock guy” and, a bit later, asked if her brothers now preferred Goldsmith’s band,\u00a0Dawes<\/strong>,\u00a0<\/strong>to Ryan Adams’ music.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\"Mandy<\/p>\n

John Shearer\/Getty Images for People Magazine<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

“Everyone does, yeah. Everyone in my<\/em> life!” she\u00a0replied, laughing.<\/p>\n

Well, they have their reasons.<\/p>\n

Because\u00a0Moore\u00a0is now a star of one of the most talked-about shows on TV in\u00a0This Is Us<\/em>, and just won her first SAG Award last month as part of the NBC drama’s winning ensemble, it’s easy to forget about the drier years, when even she wondered if her time had passed.<\/p>\n

The fact that those years largely coincided with her marriage could have been a coincidence\u2014lots of actors and artists slow down to focus on their relationships or families. But in Moore’s case, it wasn’t a coincidence.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\"Mandy<\/p>\n

Eric Charbonneau\/Invision\/AP Images<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

“I was living my life for him,” Moore said on\u00a0WTF<\/em>. “I had no sense of self. I felt like I was drowning. It was so untenable and unsustainable and it was so lonely. I was so sad. I was lonely with him.”<\/p>\n

Moore similarly\u00a0reflected to Bustle<\/a> in November, “When I think back to that particular time period that we’re talking about…It was heavy. It was dark. It was confusing. It was lonely. There was no room for me. There was no room for me to have anything else in my life.”<\/p>\n

Moore’s last album,\u00a0Amanda Leigh\u00a0<\/em>(her real name), came out in May 2009, a couple months after she and Adams got married. She had been recording music since she was 15, having left high school after her freshman year to commit to it full-time. That was Moore’s sixth studio album and she was under the impression that there would be more to come in her near future.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Music was\u00a0“definitely a common interest between the two of us,” a recently wedded Moore told EW.com about her and Adams in 2009<\/a>. “There’s always music playing in the house, or being written. It’s nice to be able to share that with one another, and share new things that we discover and find. Usually it’s him introducing me to something.<\/p>\n

“There’s a lot more metal being played in the house than ever before. It’s like, ‘No, no, that’s hair metal, that’s not black metal. And\u00a0that’<\/em>s more melodic Scandinavian metal.’ It’s hard to discern, but I’m starting to get there.”<\/p>\n

Asked if they talked about music, she said yes, adding, “It’s nice to be able to bounce ideas off someone, especially someone that you have a lot of respect for. It’s wonderful.”<\/p>\n

Asked if she would consider\u00a0working on music with Adams, Moore said, “I’m sure in due time something will probably come about in terms of collaborating. We certainly have done that at home, writing together\u2014it just organically happens. In terms of putting stuff out there, I don’t know. Maybe somewhere down the line that’ll be fun.”<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\"Ryan<\/p>\n

Christopher Polk\/Getty Images<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

During their marriage, the reliably prolific Adams made five\u00a0studio albums, including his self-titled\u00a0Ryan Adams<\/em>, which was nominated for two Grammys, and 2015’s\u00a01989<\/em>, his quirky cover of the songs on Taylor Swift<\/a><\/strong>‘s album of the same name (released after they were separated).\u00a0<\/p>\n

In 2009, Moore auditioned for and earned the role of Rapunzel in Disney’s\u00a0animated hit\u00a0Tangled<\/em>\u2014”I was with some friends and my husband and I screamed as soon as I found out the news, I was over the moon,” she told\u00a0Huffington Post<\/a>\u2014and she had an arc on\u00a0Grey’s Anatomy<\/em> in 2010.<\/p>\n

She did other things during that time, including a few forgettable movies and a lot of voice work, and went on a lot of auditions for stuff that didn’t quite pan out.\u00a0She eventually popped up on the much-hyped but short-lived Fox drama\u00a0Red Band Society\u00a0<\/em>in 2014. Throughout, she didn’t put out any music.<\/p>\n

That’s not a coincidence, either.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

According to\u00a0The New York Times<\/em><\/a>, Adams appointed himself as de facto decider when it came to his wife’s career.\u00a0The paper also detailed an\u00a0alleged pattern of behavior exhibited by Adams over the past decade, in which part of his process was to\u00a0bond with young women over music, foster a connection and then turn controlling, creepy and\u2014with Moore and his ex-fianc\u00e9e Megan Butterworth<\/strong>\u2014emotionally\u00a0abusive. (Adams has\u00a0apologized for ever making anyone uncomfortable but, through an attorney and via Twitter<\/a>, has\u00a0categorically denied much of the behavior he’s accused of in the article as well as the entire occurrence of some events described.)<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\"Mandy<\/p>\n

Kevin Mazur\/WireImage<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

“His controlling behavior essentially did block my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very pivotal and potentially lucrative time\u2014my entire mid-to-late 20s,” Moore told\u00a0the\u00a0Times<\/em>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Adams,\u00a0a singer-songwriter who established his own record label, PAX AM, in 2004, is known for being outspoken and particular about his creative process. Early on he\u00a0utilized social media, where nowadays most loyalty is harnessed, as an unparalleled way to\u00a0connect with\u00a0his fans directly. He has also been open about his\u00a0struggle\u00a0with depression and drug and alcohol abuse.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

“I was running the risk of becoming one of those people who talks to himself all the time,” he told\u00a0The New York Times<\/em><\/a> in 2007.\u00a0“I was about to walk over this line that there was no coming back from, and I could feel it. I was seeing ghosts and hearing stuff. Having horrible nightmares. I was creating as much distance from people as possible so that, in the event that something terrible happened, it wouldn’t hurt them.”<\/p>\n

Also in 2006, he was diagnosed with M\u00e9ni\u00e8re’s disease, which affects balance and hearing. “All the stuff I was doing exacerbated the disease,” Adams told<\/a> The Guardian<\/a>\u00a0<\/em>in 2011. “You’re not supposed to smoke, you’re not supposed to drink alcohol, be stressed, eat salty foods…You’re probably not supposed to do speedballs.”<\/p>\n

He wouldn’t admit to\u00a0any autobiographical songs about his (seemingly good) relationship with Moore, but acknowledged that the line\u00a0“when I met you the clouds inside me parted” from “I Love You But I Don’t Know What to Say” (from 2011’s Ashes and Fire<\/em>)\u00a0was “not unrelatable.”<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Used to telling his own story,\u00a0when word got out that he was dating Moore in March 2008, Adams fired back<\/a> at the Daily Intelligencer, “I can’t believe you guys would print lies like that. You said Mandy Moore and I were dating! Which we’re not. She’s single, and I don’t know why everyone thinks she has to be in a relationship.” A few months later he claimed they had broken up.<\/p>\n

But\u00a0they ended up together.<\/p>\n

“As a 23-year-old impressionable woman, I was really taken by him,” Moore, 34, said on WTF<\/em>. “I had never met someone who had that lens on the world.”<\/p>\n

Eventually, however, he allegedly became controlling and manipulative. Moore told the\u00a0Times<\/em>\u00a0that\u00a0Adams, who’s 10 years her senior, promised they would record songs that they wrote together, but never followed through, and he would book studio time for them, only to replace her with another female artist. She says he discouraged her from working with anybody else.<\/p>\n

“He would always tell me,\u00a0‘You’re not a real musician, because you don’t play an instrument,'” Moore recalled. (Adams denied being unsupportive of Moore’s career\u00a0or getting in the way of her working with others.)\u00a0<\/p>\n

“Music was a point of control for him,” she asserted.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\"ESC:<\/p>\n

Michael Kovac\/WireImage<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

In\u00a02013, when they were still married, Adams started exchanging texts with a female fan, at first about music, but eventually the messages\u00a0and a Skype session turned sexual, according to the\u00a0New York Times<\/em>.\u00a0The now 20-year-old woman, identified\u00a0by her middle name, Ava, said she was\u00a014 when she first started corresponding with Adams. He insisted via his lawyer\u00a0that he didn’t remember the exchange but would never knowingly exchange text messages of a sexual nature with an underage girl.<\/p>\n

Ava, who was an accomplished bass player when she first started messaging with Adams, told the\u00a0Times<\/em> the whole experience\u2014feeling objectified, and as if sex would have to be part of the deal if she wanted to make it as an artist\u2014turned her off of\u00a0music altogether.<\/p>\n

“What you experience with him\u2014the treatment, the destructive, manic sort of back and forth behavior\u2014feels so exclusive,” Moore told the paper. “You feel like there’s no way other people have been treated like this.”<\/p>\n

She added, “I want to make music. I’m not going to let Ryan stop me.”<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Moore said on WTF<\/em> that, while she never\u00a0relied on it as her sole source of income or only source of creativity, “music’s always what I’ve been more passionate about, so [as a young recording artist] I was happy to have some semblance of it in my life” while making\u00a0her name as an actress.<\/p>\n

And she’s getting back into the music, she said.<\/p>\n

Last July she posted a video on Instagram of a mixing board and she can be heard singing in the background. She captioned the post: “Getting back to it. It’s time. I miss it. I’m not scared anymore. No more excuses. No more allowing someone’s else insecurities to dictate my relationship to music and singing. Boom. Also- this is just a little demo of something\u00a0@themikeviola<\/a>\u00a0[who produced Amanda Leigh<\/em>]\u00a0and I worked on yesterday… but still, it’s a start!”<\/p>\n

Also, Moore has been\u00a0subtly referring to Adams’ issues and the crisis of confidence\u00a0she suffered during her marriage for awhile now.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

“Not the smartest decision. I didn’t choose the right person,” Moore succinctly told\u00a0Glamour<\/em><\/a>\u00a0in hindsight last fall. She described feeling “spiritually and fundamentally stuck” while married to Adams.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Adams\u00a0has talked about getting sober in 2006 by going cold-turkey, followed by occasional AA meetings, but in response to the Glamour\u00a0<\/em>interview,\u00a0he claimed last year to have been too high to remember marrying Moore in the first place.<\/p>\n

A\u00a0day after he tweeted appreciatively about a new Dawes album, Adams retweeted a write-up on the Glamour\u00a0<\/em>piece and wrote<\/a>, “She didn’t like the Melvins or BladeRunner. Doomed from the start\u2026 if only I could remember the start lol.” He continued, “When someone told me we got married I thought they were joking. Then I realized how many painkillers I was taking. Honestly there weren’t enough to numb the shock. Gollygooops.” Adams concluded, “Sometimes you get stuck to the spiritual equivalent of a soggy piece of cardboard. But it rains on net-a-porter everyday when you’re trapped inside yourself,” adding, “Take the money I’ll take my pride, any day.” (The tweets are long since deleted.)<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\"Mandy<\/p>\n

Fame Pictures<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

In response to a Moore defender who fired back that Adams wrote “75% of [his] love songs” about her on his last album,\u00a02017’s\u00a0Prisoners<\/em>, Adams replied, “There’s not actually a single song about her. Like not one. Fact.”<\/p>\n

When\u00a0Prisoners<\/em> came out, Adams told\u00a0NME<\/em><\/a>, “For me, the big shadow illuminating things for fans will be that this record is directly related to my divorce and to what was going on inside me \u2014 how I endured it and where I was in my emotions at that time\u2014and they wouldn’t be wrong. I didn’t want to make a mistake and avoid it\u2026I believe in art, and it sounds so stupid\u2014but I think it’s more stupid to pretend that things aren’t happening to you and write some bland f–king useless bulls–t.”<\/p>\n

Some fans were concerned about Adams following his rant about Moore’s interview, and he eventually tweeted, “Thank you for the kind messages. I am speaking with a grief\/ crisis counselor. I apologize if I caused anyone any worry. Depression, anxiety\/ panic attacks & grief are very real and serious issues. If anyone is suffering I urge you to seek help. And cats.<\/p>\n

“I apologize for my remarks. I was trying to be funny. But I have and will always choose to remember the amazing moments. It isn’t classy or ok lessen what was. I am happy for everyone and doing my best.”<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

More recently, in the wake of the New York Times<\/em> piece, the release of\u00a0Big Colors<\/em>, the first of three albums Adams was scheduled to put out this year, has\u00a0been indefinitely postponed.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

One notable place we’ve been hearing singing from Mandy Moore lately, however, is on\u00a0This Is Us<\/em>. In one of those joyful Hollywood twists,\u00a0the show was created by\u00a0Tangled<\/em>\u00a0writer\u00a0Dan Fogelman<\/strong>, and\u00a0he wrote an aspiring-singer back story for Moore’s character, Rebecca Pearson.<\/p>\n

Bittersweetly, the hit show\u00a0appeared on the horizon\u00a0not long after her marriage ended.<\/p>\n

She and Adams announced they were amicably parting ways<\/a> in January 2015. “I don’t feel guilty for it. I don’t fault myself for it,” Moore told Glamour<\/em>. “When people said, ‘I’m sorry,’ I was like, ‘No. Sorry would have been had I stayed in a very unhealthy situation.’ I didn’t. I found my way out. And when I did, things opened back up again.”<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Their divorce was finalized<\/a> just a few months before the\u00a0This Is Us<\/em> premiere bombshell hooked audiences everywhere in September 2016.<\/p>\n

“Life is not easy,” Moore said during the series’ TCA panel that summer. “I think it’s been great to be able to take all of the chapters in my life and be able to pour it into a job like this because it all helps. It’s all fuel.”<\/p>\n

“I think everything happens for a reason,” she continued. “I think I spent a good portion of the last years of my life really pouring all of my energy into my life and relationship, and now that that’s sort of not part of my life any more. It’s just not a coincidence to me that things sort of opened back up, and I’m able to focus back on myself again.”<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Well, not entirely on herself.<\/p>\n

Moore met Taylor Goldsmith on, of all places, social media\u2014she posted a pic of a Dawes album, just like any fan, and Goldsmith slid into her DMs\u2014and they were hanging out<\/a> by the fall of 2015. He proposed in 2017 and they tied the knot<\/a> in November.<\/p>\n

“I was still dealing with the trauma of my divorce when we started dating,” Moore\u00a0told Glamour<\/em>. “Taylor was steadfast in his support\u2014that was a huge sign for me.”<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

She continued, “He makes me melt. I can imagine no better partner. He’s going to be the most tremendous father. I view the past as a stepping-stone to get me where I am today. I would gladly weather all of that a million times over if it brought me to Taylor again.”<\/p>\n

And\u00a0she weathered a lot\u2014<\/em>more than most people knew\u2014but\u00a0Moore hasn’t wavered from her everything-happens-for-a-reason, all-roads-lead-to-now positive attitude.<\/p>\n

“I’m strong,”\u00a0Moore told E! News<\/a> at the\u00a0HFA Grants Gala in Beverly Hills back in 2016, about a month before This Is Us<\/em> premiered. “I feel great. Life is hard, man, but you know it’s all part of it and you just take that stuff and you know you use it as fuel and pour it into your work and try to make sense of all of it.”<\/p>\n

“You put one foot in front of the other,” she said. “Life happens.”<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

via:: E! Online<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Mandy Moore summited Mount\u00a0Kilimanjaro last year, with then-fianc\u00e9 Taylor Goldsmith by her side, it was more than a feat of physical endurance. The singer and\u00a0actress had also proverbially\u00a0reached the\u00a0mountaintop after\u00a0quite the uphill climb, with no\u00a0guarantee that happiness would be waiting for her at the end. But though the journey\u00a0ultimately proved worth it, whatever was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-267928","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-music-news"},"acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-06-19 02:36:56","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"distributor_meta":false,"distributor_terms":false,"distributor_media":false,"distributor_original_site_name":"KIDN - The Lift FM","distributor_original_site_url":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn","push-errors":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267928","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=267928"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267928\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=267928"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=267928"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kidn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=267928"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}