{"id":485704,"date":"2019-05-10T11:00:51","date_gmt":"2019-05-10T17:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rollingstone.com\/?p=833946"},"modified":"2019-05-10T11:00:51","modified_gmt":"2019-05-10T17:00:51","slug":"justin-bieber-is-right-parties-are-terrible-abolish-parties","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kqzr\/music-news\/justin-bieber-is-right-parties-are-terrible-abolish-parties\/","title":{"rendered":"Justin Bieber Is Right: Parties are Terrible. Abolish Parties."},"content":{"rendered":"
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There are levels of social gatherings. You have your shindigs, your get-togethers, festivals, ragers, raves and riots. They\u2019re all annoying in different ways, but occur infrequently enough that their existence is tolerable. One can attend any of these gatherings and act in accordance with the chaos that comes with having free will in an indifferent world.<\/p>\n

Parties, though: they\u2019re a plague. There is one for every useless occurrence \u2014 birthdays, graduations, anniversary, goodbyes, housewarming. They\u2019re each built on arcane rules and confining customs; bring a gift, don\u2019t get drunk at my sister\u2019s baby shower, stealing a breadmaker isn\u2019t socially acceptable. It is one of my more stridently held beliefs that parties should be outlawed, much like dancing in the seminal film Footloose<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, Justin Bieber<\/a> is the pop star destined to deliver his faithful flock from the heathens and devil worshippers perpetuating the party industrial complex. On Ed Sheeran<\/a>\u2018s \u201cI Don\u2019t Care<\/a>,\u201d Biebervelli arrives at a party only to notice, \u201cI\u2019m crippled with anxiety\/But I\u2019m told it\u2019s where I\u2019m s\u2019posed to be.\u201d The only place you\u2019re supposed to be is in our hearts and AirPods, Justin.<\/p>\n

If parties are causing the songbird of our generation crippling anxiety, something is wrong. Bieber brings up solid points on \u201cI Don\u2019t Care:\u201d Chit-chat is<\/em> hard, yelling at randoms in 10-minute bursts is an ineffective way to connect with another person and, most importantly, guilting people to attend a party as a form of social obligation is a draconian form of punishment.<\/p>\n

The only reprieve for Bieber is getting horny and wanting to kiss in front of everyone, which should also be outlawed. Parties are bad, but public displays of affection are worse.<\/p>\n