{"id":1317091,"date":"2019-12-03T21:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-12-04T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.postindependent.com\/graves-column-deck-the-halls-and-hit-the-deck\/"},"modified":"2019-12-03T21:00:00","modified_gmt":"2019-12-04T04:00:00","slug":"graves-column-deck-the-halls-and-hit-the-deck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/local-news\/graves-column-deck-the-halls-and-hit-the-deck\/","title":{"rendered":"Graves column: Deck the halls and hit the deck"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure class=\"wp-block-image p402_hide\">\n<div class=\"caption-container\"> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"489\" height=\"739\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2019\/12\/ColGraves-gpi-120419.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-post-image\" alt srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2019\/12\/ColGraves-gpi-120419.jpg 489w, https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2019\/12\/ColGraves-gpi-120419-199x300.jpg 199w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 489px) 100vw, 489px\"><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText DropCap\">Yes, I am one of \u201cthose\u201d people.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">About thirty minutes after Labor Day has officially ended, I feel a strange compulsion to binge on my mother\u2019s iced sugar cookies shaped like snowmen while listening to Nat King Cole croon about chestnuts. I usually resist breaking out my collection of \u201cinternational\u201d Santa figurines \u2013 including Las Vegas Santa indulging his gambling addiction on the slots \u2013 until after Halloween. But once I\u2019ve polished off my kids\u2019 trick-or-treat candy, I go into full-out Christmas-prep beast mode.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">I realize that my premature Yuletide activities irritate some folks, and I place the blame partly on the retail economy, which starts celebrating HallowThanksMas around the time when we East Texans are suffering from acute Eskimo envy in the sweltering month of September. And I must admit that it\u2019s a little disconcerting to go to Walmart for a new giant unicorn pool float and walk past a tempting display of Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes. Thankfully, I can usually limit myself to five or six family-size packs.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">Another reason for my pre-season holly-jolly spaz attack is the sheer magnitude of our Christmas swag. I spend most of the year expecting our ceiling to collapse under the mass of nativity sets, Christmas villages, and countless other seasonal dust magnets stockpiled in our attic. In fact, I\u2019m resigned to the probability that I\u2019ll eventually be taken out by a Rubbermaid tub full of decorative nutcrackers. Seriously, though, I figure if I don\u2019t start dragging out the de \u00a9 cor soon enough, I\u2019ll still be stringing up lights when it\u2019s time to overdose on Velveeta dip and chicken wings during the Super Bowl.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">As an example of our fanatical festooning, we don\u2019t allow Santa to squeeze out of our gas-log fireplace until we\u2019ve erected not one, but two Christmas trees in our living room. One serves as our \u201cfashionable\u201d tree, adorned with ornaments accumulated from several trips my wife and I took overseas \u2013 before we had our three daughters and started hemorrhaging wads of cash on dance lessons, cell phones, and salted-caramel iced mochas.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">The other tree features mostly homemade ornaments, many of which include photos of our daughters at various ages. This tree is a favorite of my wife and me, and when the girls aren\u2019t vociferously expressing their unmitigated disgust at the pictures of themselves with toddler bangs or missing baby teeth, they secretly compete to see who can maneuver their own photo ornaments to the highest and most visible branches.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">Eventually the tree develops a distinct top-heavy list, threatening to topple over and impale our full-figured Siamese cat, who spends most of the holiday lounging at the tree\u2019s base and wistfully gazing upwards, wondering what it might be like to muster the energy to climb it \u2013 or even paw at a low-hanging baby Jesus made of Styrofoam and pipe cleaners.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">The pinnacle of our home decorating frenzy involves the death defying installation of exterior lighting. Each year, I entertain the neighbors and risk permanent paralysis by hanging several strings of C-9 bulbs from the unnecessarily steep eves of our house. This process inevitably requires that I actually climb onto our roof for a public performance of uncoordinated acrophobia.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">Taking the advice of my dad \u2013 a veritable Rembrandt of domestic holiday displays \u2013 I stay as low as possible while I\u2019m scuttling around up there and trying to avoid hurling on the housetop. And I\u2019m usually able to pick all of the shingle grit out of my ears and teeth by the new year.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">Once all of the decorating is done and I\u2019m in my easy chair nursing a pulled groin and a mug of hot cocoa with extra mini marshmallows, I look around at the twinkling lights, the radiant poinsettias, and the stockings hung by the chimney-insert with care, and I realize that it\u2019s worth all of the trouble.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">And if I start packing all of this away shortly, I can re-decorate the house in time for Valentine\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText Tagline\">Contact Jase Graves at <a href=\"mailto:susanjase@sbcglobal.net\">susanjase@sbcglobal.net<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.postindependent.com\/opinion\/columns\/graves-column-deck-the-halls-and-hit-the-deck\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">via:: Post Independent<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yes, I am one of \u201cthose\u201d people. About thirty minutes after Labor Day has officially ended, I feel a strange compulsion to binge on my mother\u2019s iced sugar cookies shaped like snowmen while listening to Nat King Cole croon about chestnuts. I usually resist breaking out my collection of \u201cinternational\u201d Santa figurines \u2013 including Las [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1317091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-local-news"],"acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-09-06 10:38:15","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"distributor_meta":false,"distributor_terms":false,"distributor_media":false,"distributor_original_site_name":"KSKE Ski Country","distributor_original_site_url":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske","push-errors":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1317091","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1317091"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1317091\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1317091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1317091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1317091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}