{"id":1318029,"date":"2020-02-02T20:04:00","date_gmt":"2020-02-03T03:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.postindependent.com\/tyrades-column-does-your-family-include-a-speed-demon\/"},"modified":"2020-02-02T20:04:00","modified_gmt":"2020-02-03T03:04:00","slug":"tyrades-column-does-your-family-include-a-speed-demon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/local-news\/tyrades-column-does-your-family-include-a-speed-demon\/","title":{"rendered":"Tyrades column: Does your family include a speed demon?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Readers of fine newspapers may recall that last July I unleashed a tirade titled \u201cSlow drivers: are they driving you insane?\u201d<\/p>\n

Several readers offered a \u201cYes, but\u2026\u201d response. They acknowledged the irritating nature of slowpokes but suggested I should devote equal (or greater) time to denouncing speed demons.<\/p>\n

So, for the sake of fairness (and because my son is currently taking Driver\u2019s Education and because I\u2019ve started pondering how many of my clobbered pets would have died of natural causes if all motorists drove at safe speeds in residential areas), I\u2019m making a U-turn and activating my blue light for those colorful scamps on the other extreme of the speed spectrum.<\/p>\n

Perhaps the classic road hog is the joker who tailgates you, flashes his headlights, passes you on a double yellow line approaching a blind curve \u2014 and then makes a left turn 50 yards down the road! Here\u2019s hoping that he doesn\u2019t spill the potato salad in his valiant quest to arrive three seconds sooner for his Hot-headed Half-Wits reunion.<\/p>\n

What makes people pull these scofflaw shenanigans? Poor time management is one cause of \u201clead foot syndrome.\u201d Here\u2019s an idea: maybe if you\u2019d invest less in \u201crich Corinthian leather\u201d and more in a decent alarm clock, you wouldn\u2019t find yourself shaving or applying cosmetics while hurtling along foggy streets, just to have three extra minutes to whine about how you hate every stinkin\u2019 minute at your job.<\/p>\n

I know many speeders are rebels at heart and think their flouting of posted speed limits is Sticking It to the Man, but often it\u2019s more like Wrapping It Around the Oak Tree in the Man\u2019s Front Yard.<\/p>\n

Yes, some adrenaline junkies simply don\u2019t feel alive unless they\u2019re \u201cstraightenin\u2019 the curves, flattenin\u2019 the hills.\u201d Like the Dukes of Hazzard, they fancy themselves to be true modern-day Robin Hoods. Except they rob from their emergency fund and give to the collision-repair center.<\/p>\n

I realize some drivers aspire to establish a legacy via their high-speed high jinks (their 15 Gallons of Fame, as it were), but they are essentially Proving Nothing to Nobody. (\u201cYou mean you don\u2019t remember me squalling tires at 1:15 a.m. on November 14, 2014 either??? I\u2019m hitching a U-Haul to my Mustang and gettin\u2019 outta this burg! The whole town of Lower East Podunk has developed amnesia!\u201d)<\/p>\n

Some drivers are simply sociopaths who think the world owes them a living, their fun trumps everything else and the rest of humanity is just in their way. Forgive me if my obeying the speed limit makes them late for their job interview for a position handling high explosives.<\/p>\n

One hopes that these charming individuals would at least honor school zones, but their reassurances are not encouraging. (\u201cOf course, I\u2019ll behave. I believe the children are our future. And I\u2019m about to break the time barrier and find out for sure. Yee-haa!\u201d)<\/p>\n

My late father-in-law was always in denial about the danger he posed to himself and others by driving aggressively. Sadly, people who have been protected by guardian angels (up to this point) tend to be defensive and snarky about their continued safety.<\/p>\n

I hope that doesn\u2019t describe anyone in your family.<\/p>\n

If a guilty party does spring to mind, I hope they\u2019ll get their head out of a certain bodily orifice before the coroner gets summoned to do it for them.<\/p>\n

Copyright 2020 Danny Tyree. Danny welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com<\/a> and visits to his Facebook fan page \u201cTyree\u2019s Tyrades.\u201d Danny\u2019s weekly column is distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons Inc. newspaper syndicate.<\/p>\n

via:: Post Independent<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Readers of fine newspapers may recall that last July I unleashed a tirade titled \u201cSlow drivers: are they driving you insane?\u201d Several readers offered a \u201cYes, but\u2026\u201d response. They acknowledged the irritating nature of slowpokes but suggested I should devote equal (or greater) time to denouncing speed demons. So, for the sake of fairness (and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1318029","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-local-news"],"acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-09-06 02:27:11","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"distributor_meta":false,"distributor_terms":false,"distributor_media":false,"distributor_original_site_name":"KSKE Ski Country","distributor_original_site_url":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske","push-errors":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1318029","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1318029"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1318029\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1318029"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1318029"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1318029"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}