{"id":1319932,"date":"2020-05-13T23:08:00","date_gmt":"2020-05-14T05:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.postindependent.com\/defrates-column-friendships-favorite-haunts-better-than-any-bucket-list\/"},"modified":"2020-05-13T23:08:00","modified_gmt":"2020-05-14T05:08:00","slug":"defrates-column-friendships-favorite-haunts-better-than-any-bucket-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/local-news\/defrates-column-friendships-favorite-haunts-better-than-any-bucket-list\/","title":{"rendered":"DeFrates column: Friendships, favorite haunts better than any bucket list"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure class=\"wp-block-image p402_hide\">\n<div class=\"caption-container\">\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"684\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2020\/03\/ColDeFrates-gpi-031120-684x1024.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-post-image\" alt srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2020\/03\/ColDeFrates-gpi-031120-684x1024.jpg 684w, https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2020\/03\/ColDeFrates-gpi-031120-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2020\/03\/ColDeFrates-gpi-031120-768x1150.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2020\/03\/ColDeFrates-gpi-031120.jpg 863w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 684px) 100vw, 684px\"><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText DropCap\">If you love the outdoors, it\u2019s time to kick the bucket list and start recreating with a sense of place.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">Americans, with our passion for individuality and living in the moment, love the bucket list. For some, it will be hard to say goodbye. After Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman buddy-comedied their way across the country together in the 2007 movie of the same name, we created and shared must-do-someday lists of places, activities, crafts, recipes, cars, road trips, movies and cheeses.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">Pinterest fueled the flames, as did Instagram, giving everyone beautiful images of all the ways they weren\u2019t living their best life right in the palm of their hands. If we couldn\u2019t dash out the door right away to go live it, we put it on our bucket list, then shared the news excitedly whenever we were able to \u2018check off\u2019 an item or experience.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">The problem is that bucket lists turn everything on them into a one-and-done consumable item that has little to no value after the experience is over. For pie-eating contests and bungee jumping, this makes sense. For National Forests, secret swimming holes, and soaring red cliffs, not so much. Visitors who never intend to return to a place, and who view land as only another consumable experience are the ones who do the most damage.<\/p>\n<div class=\"row\">\n<div class=\"col\" readability=\"6\">\n<div class=\"row gspi-donation gspi-donation-mobile p-0\" readability=\"7\">\n<div class=\"col-xl-4 p-2\">\n<div data-bg=\"url(https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2020\/03\/PI-logo-white.png)\" class=\"p-0 mt-2 mb-2 h-75 text-center rocket-lazyload\">\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.postindependent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2020\/03\/PI-logo-white.png\" class=\"logo m-0 p-0 invisible\"><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><h3 class=\"d-inline mr-3\">Support Local Journalism<\/h3>\n<p><button class=\"btn d-inline\" type=\"button\" onclick=\"handleDonationButtonClickMidArticle()\">Donate<\/button><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">The bucket-list approach allows people to think that a two-day trip completely tapped out everything that this place had to offer. \u201cOh, I don\u2019t want to go back to Canyonlands, we went there last summer, let\u2019s try somewhere new.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">What if we treated people this way? \u201cOh, I already talked to her once, she was really nice, but I need to go meet the next person on my list.\u201d People are complex and we know that deep friendships are where the joy in life truly lies. With old friends, you get to skip the small talk and be real with each other. Our approach to the outdoors should be the same.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">When did it become such a bad thing to go back to places you already know you love? My family went to the same state park in Virginia every summer for one week for my entire life. I knew all the trails, beaches, beaver ponds and where to find the most shark teeth. Even as a teenager, seeing that park entrance sign always felt like coming home, and I was able to spend better time there because I already knew my way around. I still love that place, and I check up on it even though I\u2019m now thousands of miles away.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">Treating the land like an old friend completely shifts how we assign it value.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">This is even more important if you travel with kids. Driving in the car for four hours every day during vacation so that they can stand at another overlook and be in a picture doesn\u2019t mean nearly as much as pulling into a favorite campsite and dashing off to the spot where they know the rocks make a tiny waterfall in a muddy canyon.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">We don\u2019t just talk to a good friend once a year. We visit them as often as we can and check up on them while we\u2019re not there. When we put the time in, which we don\u2019t even realize we\u2019re doing, the relationship becomes reciprocal. A friend is there for you when you need extra support or relief from a stressful situation, and you step up to help them when they need anything that you can give them within your unique abilities.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">With old friends in the outdoors, we notice when that place is hurting, because we\u2019ve seen what it looks like when it isn\u2019t. We can support its healthy growth even from a distance, and advocate for it, whether through time, money, or platform, for its specific needs. Once we find some old friends in the outdoors, we\u2019ll quickly lose the need to donate to enormous national non-profits, and will find ourselves connecting with organizations that are local, and doing the most good day to day.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">Old friends don\u2019t even have to be close for both parties to benefit from the relationship. Think how many long-distance friendships are maintained year after year despite hundreds or thousands of miles in between.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">The idea of finding old friends in outdoor spaces does not exclude people whose backyards don\u2019t border National Forest. Borrowing a line from the Girl Scouts, \u201cMake new friends, but keep the old.\u201d Someday, I do plan to take my children to see the ocean on a vacation, but you can bet we\u2019ll still be going back to our favorite Western Slope campgrounds that year, too. The other great thing about having an old friend with the land, is that you know you\u2019ll be welcomed back, no matter how fit you are, or whether you have the newest gear, or the best 4\u00d74.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText\">No matter what we think about our state and country\u2019s lockdown, it has given us a moment to catch our breath, and the invaluable opportunity to consciously choose where our next steps will take us. It is time to stop looking for the next new vista to meet, and start looking forward to visiting with old friends.<\/p>\n<p class=\"STND-STND BodyText Tagline\">Lindsay DeFrates is a freelance writer living in Glenwood Springs. She can be reached at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.roaringforkwriter.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">http:\/\/www.roaringforkwriter.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.postindependent.com\/opinion\/columns\/defrates-column-friendships-favorite-haunts-better-than-any-bucket-list\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">via:: Post Independent<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you love the outdoors, it\u2019s time to kick the bucket list and start recreating with a sense of place. Americans, with our passion for individuality and living in the moment, love the bucket list. For some, it will be hard to say goodbye. After Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman buddy-comedied their way across the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1319932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-local-news"],"acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-09-03 22:47:06","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"distributor_meta":false,"distributor_terms":false,"distributor_media":false,"distributor_original_site_name":"KSKE Ski Country","distributor_original_site_url":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske","push-errors":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1319932"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319932\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1319932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1319932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kske\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1319932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}