{"id":2444032,"date":"2019-05-10T10:00:53","date_gmt":"2019-05-10T16:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.aspentimes.com\/?p=305624"},"modified":"2019-05-10T10:00:53","modified_gmt":"2019-05-10T16:00:53","slug":"minimizing-the-emotional-toll-with-sound-end-of-life-planning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/local-news\/minimizing-the-emotional-toll-with-sound-end-of-life-planning\/","title":{"rendered":"Minimizing the emotional toll with sound end-of-life planning"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Shutterstock\"
If you love your family, it makes sense to get all of your end-of-life planning matters handled while everyone is healthy and making clear choices of how they want things resolved.<\/strong>
Shutterstock<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When Sally Potvin\u2019s husband was sick and in home hospice, the family couldn\u2019t get him to talk about what kind of funeral service he wanted.<\/p>\n

About 15 years earlier, the Potvins had their trusts and wills done, but the stuff about funeral services and how they wanted to be buried weren\u2019t very detailed. Plus, with so many years since preparing those documents, did he still feel the same way?<\/p>\n

Potvin volunteers her experience in accounting \u2014 she\u2019s a former CPA \u2014 as part of the Pathfinders team that provides end-of-life planning \u2014 estate plans, trusts, wills, financial planning and other legalities \u2014 for those in the community who need it. Pathfinders Executive Director Allison Daily said it\u2019s common for people with a serious or terminal illness to avoid discussions about end-of-life planning because they often feel like it signifies that they\u2019re \u201cgiving up.\u201d<\/p>\n

When former Aspen Times publisher Gunilla Israel Asher, who passed away in 2014, had a terminal cancer diagnosis, she worked with Daily on her end-of-life plans. Daily said Asher knew it would be hard for her family to talk about these plans.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe knew that if this (death) happens, regardless of when it happens, she wanted her plans in place,\u201d Daily said. \u201cWe want this end-of-life plan to be the way you want it.\u201d<\/p>\n

With good planning, there\u2019s more time to live<\/strong><\/p>\n

Making end-of-life plans are a good idea regardless of your health status, said Danielle Howard, a certified financial planner in Basalt who is part of the Pathfinders team.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you\u2019re doing this planning while in perfectly good health doesn\u2019t mean you have the attitude you\u2019re giving up on life, so what changes when you\u2019re diagnosed with a terminal illness? It\u2019s just good planning,\u201d Howard said. \u201cIt is for the benefit of your family \u2014 it is by no means \u2018giving up.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Howard has worked with families whose deceased relatives didn\u2019t do the proper planning, and it can really take a toll on those who are left trying to figure it all out.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not able to mourn and celebrate their life because you\u2019re so consumed with trying to put all of these missing pieces together,\u201d Howard said.<\/p>\n

For those with terminal illness who make these end-of-life plans, it\u2019s almost a freeing experienced. Once the planning is complete, these people can get on with living their lives and enjoy the time they have left.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis idea of being as proactive as possible really helps people to feel empowered around their choices during life and upon passing,\u201d Howard said.<\/p>\n

The good and the volatile<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mary Ryerson, executive vice president at Alpine Bank in Aspen, said it\u2019s important for professionals working with grieving families to show compassion, especially when they are facing so many unknowns.<\/p>\n

\u201cThese are such hard waters to navigate,\u201d she said. \u201cAs a banker, I try to make it as easy on a surviving spouse or partner as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

When people don\u2019t have their end-of-life plans in place, things can turn volatile. Ryerson said second marriages with children can get especially complicated.<\/p>\n

Howard has seen some difficult things happen, but she\u2019s also seen people turn their end-of-life planning into positive, beautiful experiences. People with children, for example, who have the tough conversations out in the open \u2014 about who\u2019s getting what and why \u2014 tend to set up a smoother transition for their kids.<\/p>\n

Howard encourages her client\u2019s to create a legacy letter. This is where you pass on family history, values, spiritual beliefs, hopes and dreams for your family. She feels this is as valuable, if not more so, than passing on financial assets.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you love your kids equally, your going to treat each one uniquely.\u201d Howard said. \u201cOne of my big pushes for families doing this planning is to bring money out of the closet. \u2026 The sooner you plan \u2014 the sooner you start having the conversations, become willing to be vulnerable and share your hopes, dreams, concerns and fears around this idea that we\u2019re all going to leave this world \u2014 the better.\u201d<\/p>\n

These are just the beginning of lots of questions and answers you should consider to make the process more streamlined and simpler for those that would be given the task of handling your estate. If you love your family, it makes sense to get all matters handled while everyone is healthy and making clear choices of how they want things resolved.<\/p>\n

*This is the final part in a three-part series about end-of-life planning. The first part focused on the importance of wills and other legal documents<\/a>, and the second part focused on financial planning<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

via:: The Aspen Times<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you love your family, it makes sense to get all of your end-of-life planning matters handled while everyone is healthy and making clear choices of how they want things resolved.Shutterstock When Sally Potvin\u2019s husband was sick and in home hospice, the family couldn\u2019t get him to talk about what kind of funeral service he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2444032","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-local-news"},"acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-06-18 01:21:47","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"distributor_meta":false,"distributor_terms":false,"distributor_media":false,"distributor_original_site_name":"KSPN The Valley's Quality Rock","distributor_original_site_url":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn","push-errors":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2444032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2444032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2444032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2444032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2444032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2444032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}