{"id":2448670,"date":"2019-09-12T21:15:00","date_gmt":"2019-09-13T03:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.aspentimes.com\/?p=312795"},"modified":"2019-09-12T21:15:00","modified_gmt":"2019-09-13T03:15:00","slug":"roger-marolt-whining-at-any-cost","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/local-news\/roger-marolt-whining-at-any-cost\/","title":{"rendered":"Roger Marolt: Whining at any cost"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I have been nominated for \u201cbest whiner\u201d in The Aspen Times\u2019 annual \u201cBest of Aspen & Snowmass\u201d contest. The 10 finalists have been whittled down in a primary election of malcontents that theoretically included everyone in town. If 40,000 votes were cast, as claimed for last year\u2019s contest, it\u2019s like I\u2019ve beaten 4,000-to-1 odds to get here. I don\u2019t know if that is resume-worthy, but it is an achievement. I can\u2019t decide if I would be proud to win. Why not? They aren\u2019t exactly handing out trophies to everyone my age just for showing up.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t actually know what they mean by \u201cbest whiner.\u201d Are they looking for quantity or quality, force of delivery or creativity? I may be good at this, but it\u2019s not through extensive practice. I\u2019ve never even had a Facebook account.<\/p>\n

If I come to my senses and figure out that this might be a booby prize, I won\u2019t immediately protest the nomination by arguing mistaken identity. It would be prudent to first explore what the prize is. If it is only bragging rights, the decision will be tough. If, on the the other hand, there is a gift card, then I might put some effort into campaigning. Even if the card comes with all kinds of restrictions or is for an insultingly low amount, at least I will have something else to moan about.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to get my hopes up, because I think I am at a disadvantage. I am a writer. This could sound like whining, because it well might be, but how would you know? And that is my point. A whine is a \u201clong, high-pitched cry usually expressive of distress or pain.\u201d You can\u2019t hear a writer, so how do you know if I\u2019m whining or just going through the motions? It\u2019s the silencing of the lambaster. I\u2019m not saying that I am not sitting here yowling like a teething baby in a wet diaper, but there is no way for you to know this except, perhaps, if you live in my cul de sac.<\/p>\n

When I first started this job, I figured out quickly that direct routes to monetary success are nonexistent. With accumulation of wealth out of the question, I decided to shoot for longevity. The obvious reward in this being that, when you die, people temporarily overwhelmed with their own graveside sense of mortality might say nice things to your next of kin like, \u201cI read his column every week. I am really going to miss them.\u201d Even though these would be lies, what is said in a cemetery stays in the cemetery, at least temporarily. My thinking is that, filled with guilt after fibbing like this, they might go buy one of my books on Amazon before remembering what I was really like.<\/p>\n

With stamina in mind, I knew the avenues to success could be accessed by several literary on-ramps. A columnist can give advice, gossip, talk about history, be funny, cover sports, dissect politics, analyze business, whine, or thoroughly research complex topics of great importance in order to enlighten and inform a broad readership with hopes of making the world a better place.<\/p>\n

I chose whining. OK, yeah, I occasionally touch on baseball, but my go-to is stuffing the complaint box. I wouldn\u2019t say that I gravitated to this because it is easy. It\u2019s not. Try pissing and moaning on a beautiful spring day ripe for a mountain bike ride. I have come to accept that I am gifted.<\/p>\n

Think about it: I whine about new hotels, base villages, traffic jams, trail grooming, weather forecasts, the housing shortage, health insurance, lousy local airline service, Vail, the length of City Council meetings, the eviction of Paradise Bakery, RFTA\u2019s dinosaur mascot, farts, Trump, dog poop, golf, a twice-canceled drone show as a proxy for fireworks, Snowmass, Lo Semple\u2019s hair, the price of gas, April (the month), RVs on Independence Pass, \u201cUncrowded by Design,\u201d the exaggeration of X Games crowds, 5K fun runs, potholes, skiing backwards, Highlands\u2019 measuring stick, relaxing because it\u2019s Aspen, smoked goat cheese, USPS letter mutilation, the way tourists carry their skis and even shirtless hot yoga (for men). I could go on.<\/p>\n

In closing, I want your endorsement. A vote for me is a vote for unfiltered griping. As long as there is coffee, I will be complaining. I will be your bitcher. I\u2019m not afraid to get my hands dirty, because that\u2019s what mud-slinging is all about. I hope the other finalists for this award realize their bellyaching is mild gas by comparison and direct their supporters my way. I intend to whine at all costs.<\/p>\n

If Roger Marolt wins this contest, he will donate $1,000 to Aspen Education Foundation (AEF) to be used for bullying awareness, because bullies oftentimes don\u2019t realize they are bullies. He encourages you to vote, make a donation to AEF for this cause, or both. He hopes no child is ever nominated for \u201cbest whiner\u201d in a school popularity contest. We adults can set better examples. Email at roger@maroltllp.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

via:: The Aspen Times<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have been nominated for \u201cbest whiner\u201d in The Aspen Times\u2019 annual \u201cBest of Aspen & Snowmass\u201d contest. The 10 finalists have been whittled down in a primary election of malcontents that theoretically included everyone in town. If 40,000 votes were cast, as claimed for last year\u2019s contest, it\u2019s like I\u2019ve beaten 4,000-to-1 odds to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2448670","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-local-news"},"acf":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-06-26 16:15:59","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"distributor_meta":false,"distributor_terms":false,"distributor_media":false,"distributor_original_site_name":"KSPN The Valley's Quality Rock","distributor_original_site_url":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn","push-errors":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2448670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2448670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2448670\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2448670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2448670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alwaysmountaintime.com\/kspn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2448670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}