Ben Hassett/Elle Magazine
When it comes to life lessons, Taylor Swift has plenty—enough for her nearly 30 years of life, in fact.
In honor of her upcoming milestone birthday in December, the Grammy-winning songstress compiled a list of “30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30,” in honor of her April cover of Elle.
In her wide-ranging list, the star reflected on virtually every life topic, from fighting fairly with loved ones to the recipes she’ll forever have in her dinner party arsenal and cocktails she learned to make (Pimm’s cups, Aperol spritzes, Old-Fashioneds, and Mojitos if you were wondering).
The star did not shy away from digging deep to compile her list, particularly when it came to topics of aging, body image and self-care. For Swift, body acceptance is a work-in-progress.
“I learned to stop hating every ounce of fat on my body. I worked hard to retrain my brain that a little extra weight means curves, shinier hair, and more energy,” she wrote in the magazine. “I think a lot of us push the boundaries of dieting, but taking it too far can be really dangerous. There is no quick fix. I work on accepting my body every day.”
As for aging, she keeps an ear open for fellow star Jameela Jamil. “I’ve learned that society is constantly sending very loud messages to women that exhibiting the physical signs of aging is the worst thing that can happen to us. These messages tell women that we aren’t allowed to age. It’s an impossible standard to meet, and I’ve been loving how outspoken Jameela Jamil has been on this subject,” she complimented. “Reading her words feels like hearing a voice of reason amongst all these loud messages out there telling women we’re supposed to defy gravity, time, and everything natural in order to achieve this bizarre goal of everlasting youth that isn’t even remotely required of men.”
Ben Hassett/Elle Magazine
While the clock cannot be turned back for any person, Swift is taking steps to take better care of herself, including vitamins for stress, anxiety, energy and muscle health, as well as moisturizing her face and body regularly and accepting her style—and hair—evolution.
“Fashion is all about playful experimentation. If you don’t look back at pictures of some of your old looks and cringe, you’re doing it wrong,” she wrote. “See: Bleachella.” Nowadays, she’s wishing for the curls she tried so hard to get rid of as a young girl. “From birth, I had the curliest hair and now it is STRAIGHT. It’s the straight hair I wished for every day in junior high,” Swift recalled. “But just as I was coming to terms with loving my curls, they’ve left me. Please pray for their safe return.”
Beyond the surface, the star has learned how to cope in darker times with a simple tool: a countdown. “When I’ve gone through dark, low times, I’ve always found a tiny bit of relief and hope in getting a countdown app (they’re free) and adding things I’m looking forward to,” she explained in the magazine. “Even if they’re not big holidays or anything, it’s good to look toward the future. Sometimes we can get overwhelmed in the now, and it’s good to get some perspective that life will always go on, to better things.”
Ben Hassett/Elle Magazine
And as life goes on, the pop star has learned to avoid playing mind games in a relationship or friendship and that those bonds may only be for a time. “It’s sad but sometimes when you grow, you outgrow relationships. You may leave behind friendships along the way, but you’ll always keep the memories,” she said.
Perhaps most importantly, Swift has learned that repeatedly trying and failing is part of life. “It may not feel normal to me because all of my trials and failures are blown out of proportion and turned into a spectator sport by tabloid takedown culture (you had to give me one moment of bitterness, come on). BUT THAT SAID, it’s good to mess up and learn from it and take risks,” she wrote. “No, this is not an excuse to text your ex right now. That’s not what I said. Or do it, whatever, maybe you’ll learn from it. Then you’ll probably forget what you learned and do it again….But it’s fine; do you, you’re searching.”