In writing a guide to motherhood, Laura Prepon chose to open up publicly about difficult memories with her own mother.
As the author of You and I, as Mothers: A Raw and Honest Guide to Motherhood, the Orange Is the New Black alum has gotten honest and raw about living with bulimia as a teenager and how her mother, Marjorie Prepon, contributed to the battle.
“My mother taught me bulimia. It started when I was 15 and lasted until my late twenties,” the actress said, per People.
According to Prepon, who is herself now a mother of two, her struggle with the eating disorder began after she was told to lose 25 pounds at a modeling agency’s open casting. At the time, she was 15 years old.
According to the magazine, her weight loss became her and her mom’s “shared project.” Prepon recalled Marjorie, who was bulimic in college, weighing her and taking her measurements daily. The star eventually weighed in at 105 pounds.
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“That’s when she told me, ‘You can have your cake and eat it too,'” Prepon said, per People. “I knew exactly what she was talking about.”
The actress further explained, “It was a bonding thing we would do together…a shared secret.”
“I think she was trying to help me in her own way,” Prepon said of her mother, noting that Marjorie had met the actress’ late father, Michael Prepon, after losing weight. “So to her, being thin equaled success.”
All these years later, the now-40-year-old star is focusing on the present for the sake of Marjorie, who has Alzheimer’s disease. “I don’t want to be angry with her, especially now, because I don’t know how much time we have left,” she said, per People. “I want those moments when she is present to be good.”
Prepon’s upcoming book, You and I, as Mothers, is available April 7.